Why More Older Couples Are Divorcing
More couples in their 50s, 60s, and even 70s are choosing to end their marriages after decades together. These so-called “gray divorces” or “empty nester divorces” often occur after children have moved out, leaving spouses to reevaluate their relationship and future. For some Rhode Island couples, the absence of shared parenting responsibilities reveals significant emotional or lifestyle differences. While these divorces are often less contentious than those involving young children, they involve distinct legal and financial complexities that must be addressed thoughtfully.
Equitable Division of Property in Rhode Island
Rhode Island is an equitable distribution state, meaning that the family court divides marital property fairly, but not always equally. In long-term marriages, the court typically treats most property acquired during the marriage—regardless of which spouse holds title—as jointly owned. This includes real estate, retirement accounts, savings, and other assets. The court will consider several factors, including the length of the marriage, each spouse’s contribution to the acquisition and preservation of marital assets, the conduct of the parties, and their respective economic circumstances.
Importantly, Rhode Island does not require a strict 50/50 division. Instead, the court strives for an outcome that balances each spouse’s financial needs and contributions over time. In long marriages, particularly where one spouse earned significantly more or managed the couple’s investments, this can result in complex evaluations of income history and lifestyle.
Spousal Support in Long-Term Marriages
In Rhode Island, alimony may be awarded when appropriate to maintain the financial stability of a lesser-earning spouse. In long-term marriages, this is a common feature of the divorce decree—especially if one spouse stepped away from the workforce to raise children or manage the household. Unlike property division, alimony in Rhode Island is not automatic and depends on factors such as the length of the marriage, each spouse’s age and health, employment history, and the standard of living during the marriage.
The family court may award alimony on a temporary, rehabilitative, or open-ended basis, depending on the case. In many empty nester divorces, the focus is on maintaining long-term financial security rather than enabling future workforce reintegration.
Handling Retirement Accounts and the Family Home
Dividing retirement accounts such as 401(k)s, pensions, and IRAs is a crucial aspect of gray divorce. These accounts are often among the largest marital assets and are typically subject to division, even if held in one spouse’s name. A court-approved order, often called a Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO), may be used to divide these accounts without triggering taxes or penalties.
The family home is also a central concern. Whether the home is sold or retained by one party depends on the couple’s financial position and emotional attachment to the property. In some cases, it makes sense to sell and divide the proceeds; in others, one spouse may buy out the other or defer the sale until a future date. Rhode Island courts weigh these decisions based on financial practicality and fairness.
Estate Planning and Financial Updates
After divorce, updating wills, trusts, powers of attorney, and beneficiary designations is critical. Many couples overlook these steps, only to discover later that their ex-spouse is still named on important documents. In Rhode Island, divorce does not automatically revoke these designations. Updating your estate plan ensures that your assets are distributed according to your current wishes and that your medical and financial decisions are entrusted to the appropriate person.
Adult Children and Shifting Family Dynamics
While custody and support may not be issues in a gray divorce, adult children can still be impacted by their parents’ separation. Family holidays, inheritance expectations, and future caregiving responsibilities may all be affected. Being transparent and respectful in family communication helps reduce emotional strain and preserves healthy relationships across generations.
Considering Mediation and Alternative Dispute Resolution
Because many empty nester divorces are amicable, mediation can be an effective and efficient method of resolving issues without going to trial. Mediation allows both spouses to control the outcome and avoid the financial and emotional burden of litigation. For couples who prioritize cooperation and mutual respect, mediation often leads to a more dignified and cost-effective resolution.
Protecting Your Future Starts Now
Ending a marriage after decades is never an easy decision, but it can be a positive step toward personal growth and independence. If you are considering divorce later in life, it’s important to understand your rights and plan carefully for your financial future. Attorney Christopher Heberg has extensive experience helping Rhode Island residents navigate the complexities of long-term marriage dissolution with clarity and compassion. Contact Attorney Heberg today to schedule a consultation and discuss your options for moving forward.
